After leaving the motel, I wasn't sure where I was going, yet I was nowhere near surprised when I found myself sitting at a bar where I let myself indulge in one too many drinks. To say I drink when I get upset, would be an understatement. I drink and I drink heavily. Sometimes I'm not even sure I know my own limits sometimes.
A few hours of indulging in one too many drinks and I knew it was wrong to drive. If Austin knew I was driving his car while this intoxicated he probably would have shit a brick and then he would have hit me with said brick. I also knew it was wrong to be going in the direction of Zac's house. What did I hope to gain by showing up there?
When I arrive at Zac's house, I park the car. I'm almost positive I'm not even parked straight but right now I don't care. All I care about is seeing Zac. Getting out of the car I shut the door with a little too much force and jump as it slams some. I'm a tad bit glad nothing is broken.
Walking up his drive way I have to take a few deep breaths because the world seems to be spinning and it won't stop spinning. Why the fuck won't it stop spinning? Taking an even deeper breath as I reach his porch, I walk slowly up the three steps and to the door. Raising my hand, I knock three times. I could have just rung the door bell but I'm not a fan of doorbells.
When I hear the door open, I smile some when I see Zac, but that smile falters when I see his wife, the bitch known as Kate, walk up behind him. I knew she was going to be here but I wished she wasn't.
"Zac," I mutter finally my words slurring a bit. "I..I came to see how my little love muffin was doing," I laugh as I shoot him a wink and then glare at Kate. I know she hates me as much as I hate her, though she isn't even aware that the reason I hate her is because I'm in love with her husband. Because I fuck her husband.
After I speak, I notice the way Zac's eyes get big. I'm sure he is shocked. What else would he be? I was kind of hoping for happy.
"Carro," he starts to say Carrot Cake but stops himself. Of course he wouldn't want to explain that nickname to his wife. "Carrick," he finally chooses as he shakes his head at me. I feel like a child about to get scolded. "You came to see how I was doing at three am?"
Hearing Kate sigh as Zac spoke, I ignored her sigh and answered Zac, "Yes," I nod as I step closer to him. "I thought you would like that I came by to see you my sweetums," I smirk and wink again.
"Carrick," a loud voice chimes in. It's the bitch. "As much as I'd love to stand here and listen to you slur beautiful nothings to my husband, I really think you need to leave," she glares her arms crossing.
Glaring even more, I look at her again, "I do more then slur beautiful nothings to your husband," I say as I try to step inside the house, but I feel a hand on my chest. Looking down I see it is Zac's and he is pushing me away. He doesn't want me inside.
Looking back up, I see Kate raise an eyebrow as a look of curiosity plays on her face. "And what exactly does that mean?" she asks in a tone that I'm sure is her way of egging me on. She is egging me on and it is working.
"It means I fuck him," I spat out not even looking at Zac. I can't look at Zac because I know if I do I'm not going to like what I see. "I fuck him but don't worry, he doesn't love me enough to leave you," I shrug. "And I kissed Austin and liked it so maybe I'm not in love with our precious Zac," I say not able to contain my words anymore. I should have stopped them a long time ago but I couldn't. It seems I have loose lips when drunk.
"You kissed Austin?" Zac speaks and I'm pretty sure the hurt in his voice shocks both Kate and I.
I wasn't expecting him to sound hurt and I know Kate sure as hell wasn't expecting him to sound hurt. Swallowing hard I look at her and just watch as she shakes her head and walks off. I'm sure in my gut that he is a dead man later.
"You kissed Austin?" Zac asks again this time his voice cracking. Is he trying to kill me?
I nod, "I did," I sigh as I look down at the porch. "He kissed me and I kissed him back." I'm not using that to justify my actions nor do I think I need too. I mean Zac has a wife and is apparently messing around with Taylor. Why should I have to justify my kissing Austin?
Seeing Zac step out onto the porch and shut the door behind him, I back away some, "Are you mad at me?"
"Mad isn't exactly the right choice of words," he sighs and then makes a face. "You reek of booze. You really shouldn't be driving," he mutters before crossing his arms. "Hand me the keys, I'll drive you home," he says and I can't help but feel my heart flutter as he bits his lip.
I wish my feelings and emotions weren't all over the place. I wish I hadn't enjoyed kissing Austin because that has just made me worse than what I already was.
Reaching into the pocket of the jeans I'm wearing, I hand Zac the keys to Austin's car, "Your wife is going to be pissed," I let him no matter of factly as I walk off of his porch and towards the car. I can hear his foot steps behind me so I know he is following.
"She's going to be pissed anyway Carrot Cake," he says finally using my nickname. "You did just reveal everything to her and while she is a bitch she isn't a dumb bitch," he sighs as he walks past me.
I just watch him as I walk the rest of the way in silence. When I reach Austin's car, I get in and buckle up. Looking over at Zac as he gets in and does the same.
Biting my lip I look out the window as he pulls out of his driveway and heads off towards the hotel, "Why were you hurt when I said I kissed Austin?" I ask not even sure why. Why does my mouth move when I don't want it too?
Hearing Zac take a few deep breaths before answering me, I turn to look at him.
"Because...I just...never mind," he whispers as he shakes his head and I frown. I wish he would have told me. I may not have wanted to ask but now that I had, I had indeed wanted the answer.
"Fine, I'll just forget about it," I shrug as I look away from him. The rest of the ride is in silence.
When he pulls up to the hotel and parks the car I look at him again, "How are you going to get home?" I ponder as I move closer to him.
"I'll call Taylor," he answers and I frown some when he moves away from my closeness. He has never moved away from me before.
"Are you going to fuck him too?" I ask my words coming out more bitter than I meant.
When Zac's face changes, I sigh knowing that was his intentions, "Would it matter to you if I did?" he asks me as he steps out of the car. "You said that you weren't even sure you still loved me now," he said before shutting the door.
After he shuts the door I frown more and watch as he moves away from the vehicle. Seeing him get his cell phone out and hold it too his ear after dialing a number, I lay back in the seat. I had admitted that I wasn't sure if I still loved Zac or not, "Fuck," I mutter not having wanted my feelings for love to come out like this. Not having wanted Zac to think I was questioning them...because I wasn't, was I? Anyway why did he care if I didn't love him? He has no reason to care just like he had no reason to be hurt that I kissed Austin.
Getting out of the car, I walked past Zac and headed to the room I was sharing with Austin, "Have fun fucking your brother," I said harshly not even turning to look at Zac. Instead I just kept walking to the door. My eyebrows raising as the door flings open as soon as I come to stand in front of it.
Without even saying another word I'm left shocked at the strength Austin uses to pull me inside. I don't even ask how he knew I was back. I stay silent even after I pull my arm away from his hand and walk over to the bed.
Sleep is what I need right now. Laying down I close my eyes and as I do, I'm faintly aware of Austin's arm around my waist. It's kind of funny that even though I left him like I did this afternoon he still seems to want to be near me. He still wants to hold me as he sleeps.
Listening to his breathing even out I let his breaths lull me into my own slumber. A slumber full of dreams of him and of Zac..both doing various sinful things to me.
A few hours of indulging in one too many drinks and I knew it was wrong to drive. If Austin knew I was driving his car while this intoxicated he probably would have shit a brick and then he would have hit me with said brick. I also knew it was wrong to be going in the direction of Zac's house. What did I hope to gain by showing up there?
When I arrive at Zac's house, I park the car. I'm almost positive I'm not even parked straight but right now I don't care. All I care about is seeing Zac. Getting out of the car I shut the door with a little too much force and jump as it slams some. I'm a tad bit glad nothing is broken.
Walking up his drive way I have to take a few deep breaths because the world seems to be spinning and it won't stop spinning. Why the fuck won't it stop spinning? Taking an even deeper breath as I reach his porch, I walk slowly up the three steps and to the door. Raising my hand, I knock three times. I could have just rung the door bell but I'm not a fan of doorbells.
When I hear the door open, I smile some when I see Zac, but that smile falters when I see his wife, the bitch known as Kate, walk up behind him. I knew she was going to be here but I wished she wasn't.
"Zac," I mutter finally my words slurring a bit. "I..I came to see how my little love muffin was doing," I laugh as I shoot him a wink and then glare at Kate. I know she hates me as much as I hate her, though she isn't even aware that the reason I hate her is because I'm in love with her husband. Because I fuck her husband.
After I speak, I notice the way Zac's eyes get big. I'm sure he is shocked. What else would he be? I was kind of hoping for happy.
"Carro," he starts to say Carrot Cake but stops himself. Of course he wouldn't want to explain that nickname to his wife. "Carrick," he finally chooses as he shakes his head at me. I feel like a child about to get scolded. "You came to see how I was doing at three am?"
Hearing Kate sigh as Zac spoke, I ignored her sigh and answered Zac, "Yes," I nod as I step closer to him. "I thought you would like that I came by to see you my sweetums," I smirk and wink again.
"Carrick," a loud voice chimes in. It's the bitch. "As much as I'd love to stand here and listen to you slur beautiful nothings to my husband, I really think you need to leave," she glares her arms crossing.
Glaring even more, I look at her again, "I do more then slur beautiful nothings to your husband," I say as I try to step inside the house, but I feel a hand on my chest. Looking down I see it is Zac's and he is pushing me away. He doesn't want me inside.
Looking back up, I see Kate raise an eyebrow as a look of curiosity plays on her face. "And what exactly does that mean?" she asks in a tone that I'm sure is her way of egging me on. She is egging me on and it is working.
"It means I fuck him," I spat out not even looking at Zac. I can't look at Zac because I know if I do I'm not going to like what I see. "I fuck him but don't worry, he doesn't love me enough to leave you," I shrug. "And I kissed Austin and liked it so maybe I'm not in love with our precious Zac," I say not able to contain my words anymore. I should have stopped them a long time ago but I couldn't. It seems I have loose lips when drunk.
"You kissed Austin?" Zac speaks and I'm pretty sure the hurt in his voice shocks both Kate and I.
I wasn't expecting him to sound hurt and I know Kate sure as hell wasn't expecting him to sound hurt. Swallowing hard I look at her and just watch as she shakes her head and walks off. I'm sure in my gut that he is a dead man later.
"You kissed Austin?" Zac asks again this time his voice cracking. Is he trying to kill me?
I nod, "I did," I sigh as I look down at the porch. "He kissed me and I kissed him back." I'm not using that to justify my actions nor do I think I need too. I mean Zac has a wife and is apparently messing around with Taylor. Why should I have to justify my kissing Austin?
Seeing Zac step out onto the porch and shut the door behind him, I back away some, "Are you mad at me?"
"Mad isn't exactly the right choice of words," he sighs and then makes a face. "You reek of booze. You really shouldn't be driving," he mutters before crossing his arms. "Hand me the keys, I'll drive you home," he says and I can't help but feel my heart flutter as he bits his lip.
I wish my feelings and emotions weren't all over the place. I wish I hadn't enjoyed kissing Austin because that has just made me worse than what I already was.
Reaching into the pocket of the jeans I'm wearing, I hand Zac the keys to Austin's car, "Your wife is going to be pissed," I let him no matter of factly as I walk off of his porch and towards the car. I can hear his foot steps behind me so I know he is following.
"She's going to be pissed anyway Carrot Cake," he says finally using my nickname. "You did just reveal everything to her and while she is a bitch she isn't a dumb bitch," he sighs as he walks past me.
I just watch him as I walk the rest of the way in silence. When I reach Austin's car, I get in and buckle up. Looking over at Zac as he gets in and does the same.
Biting my lip I look out the window as he pulls out of his driveway and heads off towards the hotel, "Why were you hurt when I said I kissed Austin?" I ask not even sure why. Why does my mouth move when I don't want it too?
Hearing Zac take a few deep breaths before answering me, I turn to look at him.
"Because...I just...never mind," he whispers as he shakes his head and I frown. I wish he would have told me. I may not have wanted to ask but now that I had, I had indeed wanted the answer.
"Fine, I'll just forget about it," I shrug as I look away from him. The rest of the ride is in silence.
When he pulls up to the hotel and parks the car I look at him again, "How are you going to get home?" I ponder as I move closer to him.
"I'll call Taylor," he answers and I frown some when he moves away from my closeness. He has never moved away from me before.
"Are you going to fuck him too?" I ask my words coming out more bitter than I meant.
When Zac's face changes, I sigh knowing that was his intentions, "Would it matter to you if I did?" he asks me as he steps out of the car. "You said that you weren't even sure you still loved me now," he said before shutting the door.
After he shuts the door I frown more and watch as he moves away from the vehicle. Seeing him get his cell phone out and hold it too his ear after dialing a number, I lay back in the seat. I had admitted that I wasn't sure if I still loved Zac or not, "Fuck," I mutter not having wanted my feelings for love to come out like this. Not having wanted Zac to think I was questioning them...because I wasn't, was I? Anyway why did he care if I didn't love him? He has no reason to care just like he had no reason to be hurt that I kissed Austin.
Getting out of the car, I walked past Zac and headed to the room I was sharing with Austin, "Have fun fucking your brother," I said harshly not even turning to look at Zac. Instead I just kept walking to the door. My eyebrows raising as the door flings open as soon as I come to stand in front of it.
Without even saying another word I'm left shocked at the strength Austin uses to pull me inside. I don't even ask how he knew I was back. I stay silent even after I pull my arm away from his hand and walk over to the bed.
Sleep is what I need right now. Laying down I close my eyes and as I do, I'm faintly aware of Austin's arm around my waist. It's kind of funny that even though I left him like I did this afternoon he still seems to want to be near me. He still wants to hold me as he sleeps.
Listening to his breathing even out I let his breaths lull me into my own slumber. A slumber full of dreams of him and of Zac..both doing various sinful things to me.